Do you know what it's like to feel instant panic when your child has a fever...a new bruise...seems a little pale...has a crappy appetite for a few days? Have you ever looked at your sleeping son or daughter and been crushed by an overwhelming feeling of thankfulness that he/she is alive and here with you? Do you ever feel guilty that your child gets to run and play when other people's babies have been taken Home too soon?
This has been our world since December 18, 2010. 15 months have gone by, but nomatter how much time passes, we are never far enough away from that day, that moment that changed everything. Everett is doing great, and as far as we know, he is still in remission, but underneath all the amazing days, there is an undercurrent of fear and guilt. Because of cancer, we are different, our lives are changed. In many ways we are changed for the better. We appreciate each other more. We live our life focused on the truly important things in life. Our faith has been tested and we have not wavered because we know that God is in charge. Despite the "hidden blessings" that came along with cancer, we HATE cancer. We wish for a world where no other family has to fight this battle, where no more children are lost to this terrible disease.
John and I ran 6 miles yesterday, almost half of the half marathon distance of 13 miles. We worked outside all weekend and I was tired and sore. 6 miles felt like 20. I wanted to quit, but I could see Everett's face, and the faces of so many other cancer kids, the whole time. Everett cannot quit, nomatter how much it hurts or how terrible he feels, so I ran. And on May 6, 11 other amazing people will be running the Pittsburgh half marathon alongside us. Everett's Cancer Crusaders are proud to be raising money for 2 amazing organizations (Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation and Genres Kids with Cancer Fund) that are dedicated to stomping out pediatric cancer and to helping families like ours as they fight a battle noone ever wants to fight. There are no words to adequately express how grateful we are for everyone who has offered to help with the upcoming bake sale, for all of the donations that have already been made, and for our awesome friends who are running 13 miles on May 6 in honor of our heroes, Everett, Ella, Maggie, Matty, Matt and so many other amazing kids.
One final note--Everett is having his 3rd post consolidation bone marrow aspiration tomorrow. As always, we are praying for a complication free procedure and no signs of APL.
Mom
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