Avery and I spent the weekend with Everett, daddy, and Grammy Van Dyke. Everett has been running a fever since Friday night and his little body is using every ounce of energy it has to fight an alpha strep infection of the blood. This is no small thing when you have no immune system, and the last time Everett had this infection the doctors warned us that many kiddos end up in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, and some need a ventilator to help them breathe due to the fluid that can build up around the lungs. So far Everett is doing better than anyone expected and despite feeling pretty crappy, he played with Avery most of the weekend. We are praying constantly that the antibiotics will work to help fight off the infection, and that Everett's bone marrow will recover and start making the infection fighting white blood cells that he needs to kick alpha strep's butt so he can come home.
As usual, Sunday night came too fast and it was time for mommy and Avery to go home. Leaving is always hard, but leaving a very sick Everett was heart wrenching. I can still hear Everett crying "I want my mommy", and Avery saying he "wants daddy and brother to come home too" with tears streaming down his little cheeks. I keep telling myself that, God willing, this is the last time our family will have to spend weeks apart. I remind myself daily that the hard part is almost over. But my heart breaks into a million pieces every time John and I have to tell the boys that Everett has to stay in the hospital and one of us has to go home with Avery. We've had to say goodbye so many times in the past nine months that I've lost track of the number, and it never gets easier.
On the day that Everett was diagnosed, the doctor told us that "the next 8-12 months would be hard and to remember that fighting cancer is not a sprint, it's a marathon". "Hard" was a pretty big understatement, but as we get closer and closer to the end of this marathon, I am so grateful to God for giving John and I the strength to get up and face each day, nomatter how difficult. Cancer doesn't ask you if you're up for the battle ahead. One sentence changes everything, and whether you're ready or not, the choice is made for you. We have been fully relying on God to get us through this time and as always, he has been answering our prayers daily. God is good!
Mommy
Monday, September 12, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
The Chosen Mothers by Erma Bombeck
The Chosen Mothers
By Erma Bombeck
Most women become a mother by accident, some by choice, and a few by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in giant ledger.....
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew";
Forrest, Marjorie, daughter,patron saint Cecilia";
Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Greard."
Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She is so happy." "Exactly," smiles God," Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." "But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it.” “I watched her today," said God. "She has that feeling of self independence that is so rare and necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has its own world. She has to make it live in her world and that’s not going to be easy." "But Lord, I don’t think she believes in you," said the angel. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is the women I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see.....Ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them." "And what about her patron saint" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air. God smiles and says...."A mirror will suffice."
By Erma Bombeck
Most women become a mother by accident, some by choice, and a few by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in giant ledger.....
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew";
Forrest, Marjorie, daughter,patron saint Cecilia";
Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Greard."
Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She is so happy." "Exactly," smiles God," Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." "But, does she have patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it.” “I watched her today," said God. "She has that feeling of self independence that is so rare and necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has its own world. She has to make it live in her world and that’s not going to be easy." "But Lord, I don’t think she believes in you," said the angel. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is the women I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see.....Ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them." "And what about her patron saint" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air. God smiles and says...."A mirror will suffice."
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Consolidation 4
Everett finished his last round of inpatient chemo last Friday night (8/26) with no issues and now we are waiting (and waiting) for his blood counts to drop to zero and then to begin to recover so we can break out of this place for the last time. This round went as smoothly as all the others, with only a few episodes of nausea and vomiting. We have hit a minor bump in the road in the past 24 hours as Everett has been drinking a TON of fluids, but has not been peeing much at all. The doctors gave him lasix last night and that seemed to flush the fluids out of his little body for a short time at least. However, today we are back to dry diapers. The doctors don't seem super concerned, but as the "crazy mom", I am getting more and more nervous as the hours go by. I probably shouldn't have read that very long list of possible chemo side effects after all:(
We met 3 families this week, 2 with boys (ages 2 and 14) who were diagnosed with leukemia just this week and 1 with a little boy who was diagnosed a month ago with stage 4, high risk neuroblastoma. Everything I read about pediatric cancer says how "rare" it is, but it doesn't seem so rare as we walk the halls of 9B. The rooms are full of cancer kids. For some, this place is old hat, but too many are just starting their journey. Everett and I have been doing our part to help the new kids acclimate to the oncology floor. He is loving all the new friends he has here and it makes me beyond happy to see him having so much fun.
John and Avery will be here tomorrow to celebrate the boys' 3rd birthday. We have a party planned in our hopsital room with party hats, noise makers, and a Curious George cake big enough to feed the entire floor. It's not how I imagined we would be celebrating their birthday a year ago, but we make the best of the cards we have been dealt. I'll be sure to post pics of the festivities. Much love to all of our prayer warriors!
Mom
We met 3 families this week, 2 with boys (ages 2 and 14) who were diagnosed with leukemia just this week and 1 with a little boy who was diagnosed a month ago with stage 4, high risk neuroblastoma. Everything I read about pediatric cancer says how "rare" it is, but it doesn't seem so rare as we walk the halls of 9B. The rooms are full of cancer kids. For some, this place is old hat, but too many are just starting their journey. Everett and I have been doing our part to help the new kids acclimate to the oncology floor. He is loving all the new friends he has here and it makes me beyond happy to see him having so much fun.
John and Avery will be here tomorrow to celebrate the boys' 3rd birthday. We have a party planned in our hopsital room with party hats, noise makers, and a Curious George cake big enough to feed the entire floor. It's not how I imagined we would be celebrating their birthday a year ago, but we make the best of the cards we have been dealt. I'll be sure to post pics of the festivities. Much love to all of our prayer warriors!
Mom
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